A friend once told me, “You are only as strong a leader as your pain threshold.”

That statement pierced deep. Leadership isn’t about status or accolades. It’s about the choices you make when the weight gets heavy, when people disappoint you, and when your heart is torn between justice and mercy. One of the hardest decisions any leader must make is not just to forgive, but to forget. Yes, forget. That should be a regular rhythm in our daily lives.

Many claim, “I’ll forgive, but I won’t forget.” But in reality, if the offense continues to live in your memory unchecked, true forgiveness may never take root. I’ve found that offering multiple chances, yes, even to the same people, does something powerful inside me. It builds character. It teaches humility. Most importantly, it reflects the grace and mercy I’ve received from God time and time again.

When I consider how often I’ve fallen short, yet still wake up with breath in my lungs, I can’t help but be humbled. That’s not coincidence, that’s grace. I look at my family, my calling, the doors that have opened for me, and I’m reminded that none of it came because I earned it. It came in spite of me. And that same grace I’ve received is the grace I must extend.

As a leader of a team, a business, or even a home, you have the sacred opportunity to lead with love, even when it hurts. Not every decision will be logical, and not every response will be free of emotion, but if it’s rooted in the kind of forgiveness that forgets, then it’s the right one.

So, lead well. Endure the pain. And don’t be afraid to forget. The very same grace you’ve been given, should be the grace extended to others.